I'm Not Dead! Yet!

Here's something the confuses me.

I'm watching Dr. 90210, a show that chronicles a plastic surgeon and his many, many LA based patients. While right now, he's visiting his adoptive Utah parents (he's originally from Brazil), and it's very touching, something just squicks me out. Maybe it's what the people on the show want.

A woman came in for breast implants. Passable. Her boobs were big anyway, but I'm not judging. What I'm slightly creeped out about is that her mom, her mother, the person who GAVE BIRTH to her says "oh, that's much better." Pause. Aren't moms supposed to think their children are the most beautiful things in the world? Since when do mothers have an opinion on their daughter's breast size? It's like she's seeing her as an object with artificially perfect boobs--euurrrgh.

AND ANOTHER THING. Changing fashion confuses me. All my life, I thought badly of my butt. It was pounded into me that having an ass is somehow undesirable. Now, it seems that round derrieres are ALL THE RAGE. Of course, natural butts still aren't looked at as attractive--you have to have ITSY BITSY THIGHS and a bubble sticking out of your backside. God forbid it's natural. It needs to look surgically enhanced. And still--not the ideal for white women. Damn.

This other woman wanted fat injected in her hands. In her HANDS. to make her look...younger. She showed her before hands. I looked at my own hands. THEY WERE THE SAME. I'm at the height of my youth (which is kind of frightening), and my hands don't need a change like that. After, she jut looked like she had fat hands. What.

I understand getting plastic surgery if you're really unhappy with yourself, you can't breathe right, or it's fixing a legitimate problem. Just if you have the money to inject freaking fat from your KNEES into your HANDS...you should have used that money for charity. Your karma would have thanked you.

Do you see what I did thar?

Oh, life. Why must you be so confusing.

I love Scripps. I love the people here, I love the bonds I've made, I love the weather, I love the professors, I love the classes I'm taking next year, I love my boy, I love my friends.

Why am I sick of everything else?

In exactly one hour and thirty odd minutes, my drama final will be complete. After that, I have to do the drama final AGAIN on Wednesday. I'm so done with that class. I'll miss the people in it, and, goddammit, I'll even miss my professor, it's just the walk. That's it. I don't see purpose in walking ALL THE WAY down to Seaver anymore. It seems like a waste of my energy and time. I've borrowed bikes and scooters to make the commute faster (oh, CORE, how you eff with my conceptions of space-time), but I just want to sit here, in the GJ-Dub kitchen, and keep blogging.

Maybe it's hot outside. Maybe it's my PMS. I don't even know. I want everything to be done. Finished. Finito. I just want to curl up in my bed and watch youtube videos all day long. I want to see Elisa again, dammit. I want to see the rest of my high school friends. Rar. Just, rar.

Angst angst angst. My brain on burrito. There you go.

Swine Flu

Okay then, this is what is bothering me.

Swine flu. I know that it's a big deal, I know that apparently it's infected Claremont, and Ross, and Texas, and Mexico. I understand that it is serious. I understand that people have died. But what I want to do is hold a big sign over California, or maybe skywrite, a big sign that says "CHILL".

We have had outbreaks of Swine Flue before. In New Jersey, two women died. There was a death in New York 1992. Don't believe me? Look at the CDC website.

Apocalypse theories seem to be all the rage right now. My buddy Elisa's mom canceled her trip to Mexico because so many people have died down there. But, here's the thing--people have died from the swine flu not only because of the disease, but because ambulance drivers are too freaked out by the aspect of death-by-fever to go and get them. The people who have it here are wearing masks and are recovering well. Everyone they've interviewed in the United States, when asked if it was different than any other flu, said "no." The CDC is trying to contain it. That's why people are advised not to leave their houses. It's not leprosy. It's not the plague.

While there is a valid concern, and we should be extra careful and Purell the living patootles out of everything and everyone, most of it is sensationalist media. Articles that have the words "swine flu" in them get more hits than the article about the glow in the dark puppy (which is freaky, bt dubs, cute little beagle puppies should not have sea anemone genes ANYWHERE). Journalists have caught on, and now title articles with "SWINE FLU. IT'S STILL HERE."

We aren't going to become the zombies from 28 days later. Everyone calm down.

Three things about the world that I notice

1) Must every interesting class be at 2:45 - 4:00 on Thursday?

2) 18 days--almost 17. I want them to fly by.

3) I love my boyfriend, my friends, my roommate, and the world right now :)

Good things, bad things, all things great

BAD THING
I didn't get my suite

GOOD THING
I got a bomb-diggity room in GJ-Dub

BAD THING
I'm not a peer mentor

GOOD THING
I get two weeks extra of summer vacation

BAD THING
I won't get to bond with the future freshmen / get to know other peer mentors

GOOD THING
...I'm not dead?

Update

The hall draw drama is over. For now.

I think me and six other people may be getting a suite: that is, if we're drawn in time. Three people have numbers higher than we do. If things keep going this way, we're not going to get it.

(PANIC! HYPERVENTILATE!)

Be zen, Callie. If we don't get it, we have backup plans. My roommate will be my roommate no matter what. Even if we're stuck in a matchbox.

Sorry for the incomprehensible language. A little frazzled, a little freaked. But all will be okay.

More Drama.

I feel like I'm betraying something.

I mean, I'm probably not going to get medical hall draw at this point. The four people I emailed about it never responded, and the numbers are already out, and people may be applying for the rooms that I may need next year. The rooms with air conditioning. I get heat headaches. My right side does not work when I'm heat exhausted.

I'm hopefully seeing the Associate Dean of Students today to explain my situation. But by the time I do see her (today), it can either go one of two ways.

1) She understands and does medical hall draw with me
2) She says "it's past the deadline" and doesn't do anything about it.

It's not my fault. I thought you couldn't have a roommate. The email specifically said "you may not bring friends." Then I hear from my buddy Emma, who is also on hall draw, that she's going to be living in a freaking suite with two people. And room for a sofa.

I understand that there are medical needs that need to be fulfilled. But three people, nay, six people, could fit into that room. Scripps housing is already effed up. They made reinforced triples out of tiny rooms in Toll while our dorm, while I love it, is still ridiculously huge. They kept moving my friend Theadora to bigger and bigger rooms, and now she has a single. There isn't any justice in this. They couldn't move one of the people in the quads to that single? They couldn't make a double room a double and let that one person be lucky in that respect?

I went to bible study yesterday. I know, for me, it's weird. We analyzed the parable that had the kingdom of heaven compared to a vineyard. The owner of the vineyard paid everyone equal pay, including men who had only gotten to the vineyard an hour earlier. When asked why, he said [paraphrase]"I agreed to pay you one denarius. Do I not have the right to decide what to do with my own money? Are you jealous of my generosity? Go, take your pay. The last will be first and the first will be last."

I know the message of that parable. We talked about it. The men in this parable thought they deserved something. That because they worked harder, they deserved more than the men who had gotten there an hour ago. We applied this to life. If everyone got what they deserved, they would have a lot less than what they have now. I took away from it that we shouldn't complain about what we don't have, rather, be grateful for what we do. I thought that would apply to rooming, as well. I thought I didn't care what room I was in if I loved my roommate as much as I do.

But, suffice it to say, I like my right side's mobility, limited as it may be. I like being free of debilitating pain. Yes, it will only last for about a month and a half, but that's a month and a half of constant migraine. And I don't really like that. I wish I didn't have to have air conditioning. But I do.

I guess I'll leave it all to fate.

Hall Draw Duh-rama

Right, so, I elected not to be in medical hall draw because I thought you could not pick your roommate. Medical hall draw would streamline the process of picking a room, etc etc. Then I talked to Alex, another person who has medical hall draw. She has two roommates. That she picked. Uh oh.

Here's the thing. Medical hall draw would make it so that I wouldn't have to be in a non-air conditioned room next year. I need air conditioning, or else I would be all over the place with migraines, heat headaches, and my right side would act up more. I discovered if it's hot, it doesn't really want to work.

I'm already stressed out about other things (peer mentor app? Anyone?), so this is another thing to add onto the pile.

FML.

Going home today

I learned how to jump start a car yesterday.

I've got to stop leaving my lights on.

Sickness is gone!

Voice still sounds like an eighty year old smoker, but I think I sound sexy.

Today, as I was driving back from dropping off a binder for my space-case brother, and for the first time in a while, I felt genuinely and unequivocally happy. Who knows why. Maybe because I can now breathe through my nose, maybe it was because I was listening to Viva La Vida on the radio,or maybe it was because it's spring break, I had a diet soda, and the comic book Watchmen to be read on the seat next to me.

I want every day to be like that.

Sick and tired of being sick and tired

I feel like I've been hit by a mack truck. Laden with anthrax.

Good lord. Karma.

Listening to Clare de Lune just made me think there's hope for our crazy, effed up world.

Wow. I'm hormonal.

She's a young girl, talking about herself.

This blog will cover what I feel like on days like today, what I do from when I wake up to when I go to sleep, and my general thoughts and opinions on things. It's like a video blog, but you won't have to hear my gravelly, sexy voice! I'm only going to picture people I'm going to talk about frequently...so I'm sorry if your picture doesn't appear. It will eventually.

This is me, looking very startled. I go to Scripps College in Claremont, California. It's part of the 5Cs--that is, Pitzer, Pomona, Mudd, CMC, and so on and so on. If you don't know what those names mean, you should go check out my little sister's blog. She explains them quite well. She's actually not my little sister at all, but rather a school ordained mini-me. I have another one, Ariel, and she, too, is a school ordained mini me. And, if you look at her blog, her name is Awndoorea-kun. Not Ane-chan. Nice try, little sister.

This sexy beast is my best friend. Elisa. We go way back--all the way back to freshman year of high school. Otherwise known as my other half, she's in Italy right now. Of course, being in Italy and my other half at the same time makes me very extended. Over the Atlantic. Our song continues to be "What You Own" from Rent (WHICH I SAW WITH THE ORIGINAL MARK AND ROGER HAHA), which is appropriate, but she's not in Santa Fe. She's in Italy. Bitch.

My brother, a sixteen year old who plays soccer and thinks he's cool, but plays in jazz band.We've had our troubles in the past, but now it's all resolved. Of course, he still gets on all my nerves sometimes, but most of the time, he's harmless. Rock that pink shirt, JB. Rock it.

And finally Duncan, my boy, a senior at Pomona and a fantastic person. He has a podcast, which I have never listened to (I have no itunes, sadly), but I've been told it's great. He got to see Mickey Rourke at the Santa Barbara Film Festival. Kickass.

First Post Ever

This is my first post ever.

More to come.