HAIR TIME

I am getting my hair keratined.

That means no more curls for a while. Some of the population that know me might be saying "Don't do that, Calibug! I like your curls! They're you! I wish I could have curly hair!" I know. I respect that.

I'm sick of it.

I'm sick of the frizz. I'm sick of my hair being the only thing people notice about me, and I'm sick of all the maintenance. While there is some novelty to being known as "the girl with the curls", it is not my only trait. I also have blue eyes. I'm also very pale. And--I'm also a human being with a personality and sentience.

When you say "I wish I had curly hair," you don't mean curly like me. You mean able to do curly for one night, then have it be straight again. You mean Taylor Swift, hair-commercial curls.

HAIR MAINTENANCE FOR THE CALIBUG

1) Take shower

2) Comb hair out in shower. Painful process, especially if you slept on it.

3) Put conditioner in hair 2 or 3 times

4) Comb said conditioner through hair.

5) After rinsing, DON'T TOWEL DRY IT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD

6) Oil application time! Just make sure that little strand on the right doesn't come apa--oh god oh god maybe you can comb it back.

7) Leave in conditioner

8) Frizz Ease

9) Be sure not to rest your head on anything, or scratch your head, or brush a curl away from your face.

This method works--but only until you have to put it back because your hair is attacking your eyes. And even then, wisps fall out and sproing up at awkward angles, so good luck nailing a job interview.

HOW I IMAGINE IT FOR STRAIGHT HAIRED PEOPLE

1) Wash.

2) Dry.

3) Brush.

4) PROFIT!

To be curly haired in this world is strange. It's a dominant gene, and yet almost nobody has it. If it's too messy, if it's out of control, the person is looked at like some kind of hobo or crazy person.

The most important point of this post:

My trich incidents are back. And in larger numbers.

I find myself pulling out my hair at the root because it's curly. It feels mangy all the time. If I don't pick at my head, I'll pick at my face, and if I don't pick at my face, I'll pick at my thigh area. I'll let you fill in all the details. I feel if I get rid of the flyaways, I'll be sane again. The flyaways don't go away. I have curly hair.

Keratin treatment is not permanent, it only lasts a long time. It'll give me something t look forward to in Edinburgh, because baby Jesus knows I don't want wet hair every day in the arctic circle.

Maybe I'll miss it. Maybe I won't. This is just a step in my life.